Well, I know what I'm getting for my birthday! I bet your really excited to know what it is, huh? First, it costs $30! Did you guess? Ok, I'll tell you. It's my license renewal! Exciting isn't it? Beleive me, I was quit ecstatic about it. So, that is my gift. Oh well, atleast I can drive and don't have to be stranded at home with 4 kids all the time! That is great news! Anyway, my birthday isn't for 4 more days now, and I am waiting till the last day to renew it. Is Maine the only state that has your license expire on your birthday?? On to other news!
Last Thursday, a guy in our church was able to get some free tickets for a hockey game. He got a ton of them so there were alot of us from church there that night. It also happened to be Doug's day off, so we went as a family with both of my sisters, John, and Grayson. We all had a great time. The game did not get over till after 9 pm. I wasn't going to stay till the end since the kids had school, but I couldn't leave when they were tied! Anyway, it went into over time, then the Mainiacs lost 3-2. Then I wished I hadn't stayed since they lost, but it was still alot of fun. My cousin was there too, and took all 4 kids down let the guys players hit their hands on their way back into the rink after their break. The twins are still talking about how they touched the players! Grayson also enjoyed the game. Here is a slideshow of the game and a video:
Latoya had her yearly physical today and she only gained 1 1/2 lbs. for the year and grew almost 3 in. She is now at the 90% for weight and 75% for height. She has come a long way. She used to be off the charts for weight, but is now evening out. I am extremely happy for her! They also cheered again on Friday. There were only 4 cheerleaders for this game as the rest of them were benched, but they did a great job. Here is a couple of pics, and a video. Toya is the one on the right side and in the back.
Mondays have now become family game nights too. Doug has Monday nights off and now that my sisters, John, and Grayson are all home, we decided to do a family game night on Mondays. They have all come over here for the past 2 mondays, and we hope to continue this. It really is quit fun. We just play card games, and enjoy the family time.
Lastly, I have a couple of questions from you all. Jordan has been having a bad time with hitting and kicking lately. I'm not sure why, but he thinks these are part of playing. I was told that because he is a boy that he shouldn't be hitting his sisters. My response was, boys or girls, they are still his siblings and he is only 5. Beleive me, it is never ok for him to hit anybody, but I think this is normal behavior. He gets punished no matter what. I think it is harder for Jordan to get the grasp that it isn't ok to hit girls when all he has is girls at home. Some of this has come about because he hit a little girl at school the other day. No, I do not condone(sp) it, but at the same time, I do understand how this would be easier for a boy with only girl siblings to grasp than those without sisters. Am I right? Those of you with boys and girls in the same house, does your boy sometimes hit your girl the way a normal child would hit his siblings? I was also told that is where abusive men come in, so because he hits his sisters he is going to be an abusive husband someday?? I'm just sick of people trying to give me "advice" when they only have one sex or the other. It is not the same at all, especially when you have a few of one sex and one of the other. Anyone else in this same situation have some advice for me? I know it doesn't help that ALL the boys in his class come from homes with ALL boys! Not one boy in his class has a sister, but Jordan, and he has 3! The boys in his class are very rough boys and Jordan has become this way since he started kindegarten. I know they are allowed to wrestle on the playground, but Jordan doesn't know how to wrestle since he doesn't have brothers to teach him to wrestle and he only sees his dad for 1 1/2 days a week. So, essentially, he gets out of hand when the wrestling occurs. I'm not necessarily opposed to the wrestling because Jordan really enjoys interacting with the boys, but they all go home to a house full of brothers that they can wrestle with, and Jordan goes home to a house full of girls and he tries to "wrestle" with them. As I said before, he tends to kick and hit during the wrestling, so the girls get hurt. I'm so sick of all the notes coming home and of everyones comments. Everyone is quick to criticize, but all the ones that criticize have no room to do so. Jordan is compared to other boys (that only have brothers) and I am really just sick of it. I know I am going to make some people mad, but maybe they should try standing in my shoes. I think my kids are pretty good kids, they are in fact still kids though. Anyway, I don't necessarily want to upset anyone, but I am getting VERY upset by everything I have heard and no one seems to care about that. Anyway, enough about that. I needed to vent. Jordan has been better the last few days, so we will see.
*****The above sections were written last night, below is from tonight*****
Tonight, we had a family get together at the gym! :) My mom, me, both of my sisters, and John all went to the gym to workout. All the kids went to daycare. I have to say that even though we didn't stay together the whole time, it was GREAT! I am actually hoping to go again tomorrow, plus Thursday, and possibly Friday. That means I will possible go 5 days this week! I am very excited about that! I am hoping to continue doing this if we can carpool. It's hard since I have 4 kids, but we will see I guess. If you haven't figured it out yet, the reason I don't go 5 days a week now is because we cannot afford the gas to go that many times plus childcare when I go.
That is all for tonight, I hope everyone has a great week!
Posts
8 comments:
I love your new layout! Happy birthday early as I know I will forget on your real birthday. :)
~Miranda~
PS: don't question yourself as a parent when it comes to Jordan. other people do not know your kids and your family like you do. we as parents have to do what we think is best for our kids even if it's not what everyone else thinks is best. you are not raising a "wife beater"! my brother still hits me to this day...actualyl he sucker punches me...ha ha!
Happy early birthday! I have a boy who is the same situation in our family. Jacob is not aggressive with his sisters or anyone for that matter, it is just his personality. It is of no credit to me. I would think Jordan is just adjusting and having a hard time expressing his feelings appropriately. I cannot give you great advice and I do not know him or the situation. Focus on him and find what works to deter and teach him. They are children and they all have their issues and we need to learn how to reach them. No one else can do this but you. Try not to get your feelings hurt, focus on the problem and let him know you will not tolerate those behaviors. It's all a learning process and at his young age he has plenty of time to learn it. Does he respond better to rewards than consequences? While you have to discipline maybe you could add things he could earn for good behavior. I know with Lindsey this has been a better way to reach her. Negative attention etc... just builds her frustration etc. Good luck. I think the best thing you can do is try not to take his behavior personally or beat yourself up that its some reflection on your parenting. It is not. Those comments on wife beating were so far out there I could not possibly agree that there is any link what so ever!
The other thing I would do is provide as many opportunities as possible for Jordan to play with boys at home. This way you can observe behaviors and redirect them as they occur. He will also become more used to playing with boys because boys and girls do play differently. I have a parenting class manual I often refer to and its theme for getting the behavior you want is to reward instant and often when you see good stuff. I have struggled with having enough boys for Jacob to play with as it requires picking up and driving (none nearby us). He has a little boy over right now and its amazing for me to see the difference in what he is doing with him v what he plays with on his own. It is important to give them opportunities to develop their social skills and coping skills when problems or disagreements occur. Sorry for the advice overload. Having a only boy I think about this stuff a lot.
Stacy I think you are doing a great job with all of your kids. I really admire you and all your hard work. Jordan is around girls a lot so it naturaly for him to hit them. Whoever told you that he would be abusive is off their rocket...They don't know what they are talking about..It use to frustrate me when people used to tell me how back Chris was..They need to walk in your shoes for awile..They should help not put him down..Hang in there..we love you.. and have a happy birthday...
Hi Stacy,
Happy early birthday! I'll chime in on the brother/sister fighting. I have an older brother and we fought alot at certain times growing up. He is 6 years older than me and there were lots of times we hit each other. He is certainly not an abusive husband now and we are very close. I think you are dealing with typical sibling issues that have nothing to do with gender. Follow your parenting instincts and I wouldn't worry about the ridiculous comments about the aggression leading to spousal abuse as an adult.
Hey Stacy!
First off I want to say how great I think it is that you are taking care of yourself by exercising and just getting out. That's awesome!!
Second, boys are a totally different species! They are fabulous, but they are so much rougher than girls. It's in the blood, I think. Boys hit, kick, fight, wrestle and love gross things. Remember that saying "Girls are made with sugar and spice and everything nice, but boys are made from snakes, snails and puppy dog tails."? It's so true. Brendon is all about "beating" up his friends and practicing his wrestling moves and playing football. I can't tell you how many times a day I have to say "Brendon, take it easy." Or "Brendon, be nice." Bren doesn't have sisters, and he's getting to the age that he's figuring out that girls are different so he doesn't really interact with them a lot. He's mostly rough with the guys. I think Jordan looks at girls as equals and doesn't really see why people say he has to be easy with them, you know? I think you're doing the right thing by talking to Jordan when he does it at school. I think you should continue to teach him that wrestling with his sisters is one thing, but other people may not think it's ok. Then just ignore everything else people may tell you (unless they are your family or someone who is close to you, then you should consider what they have to say). People always have advice on how you should raise your kids.. Usually those are the people who haven't had kids or people who have no clue how to be a young, involved mother (just my opinion)..Just let it go in one ear and out the other. You have too many things to take care of without worrying about what other people think.
That's my two cents worth! :) You're doing fine. Don't sweat it. He won't be a wife beater. He has a mom, dad and 3 sisters who would kick his butt if he became that.. Keep it up!
Happy Birthday!! 30 came pretty fast, huh? Yikes, I'll be there in July.... Ugh.
Have a great day! *Amber*
Happy Birthday!!!!!!
The comment from someone about abusive men and husbands is just RIDICULOUS. He is FIVE, he is a BOY and it is winter and he cannot go out an run his energy off.
ITA with the posts and esp Laura's. I do have 3 boys, but for 7 yrs I had only one. And yes, he wouold hit and kick (and punch, etc...) his sisters. WHat helped was exactly what Laura said... playdates with other boys. It was AMAZING the difference it made. I could correct the behavior right then and there (quietly and away from the friend.) I actually encourage playdates at my house still. There is a boy in the neighborhood that Joseph plays with that is younger then he is. Joseph ends up in tears a LOT, so I have the boy come over and unfortunately, I do have to correct how he treats Joseph. I don't punish him of course, but I do ask him how he would feel if he were treated that way.
I think it will all work out. Just ignore the comments to the best of your ability. Say you are working with him on it and leave it at that. No one else understands but you. I heard SO much advice on Joseph and Emma (ADHD issues) that I could scream. No one understands unless they are in your home.
Also, have your DH take him on some father/son "dates" at least monthly. This helped ALOT. Let DH talk to him about what is proper behavior with girls and how you are to treat them. It seems to sink in more coming from dad then mom.
HTH!
WTG on the Gym visits!!! YOU ROCK girl!
Post a Comment