not much else to be said, thanks to all who left comments od encouragement.to say the least, i was having a bad night. tonight went much smoother and jordan was not in as much pain as he has been. i don't know whether it is because things were not as painful or if it was because i yelled at him yesterday. i hope it was just because he wasn't in as much pain, because i want him to feel like he can scream and cry if he is in so much pain. i still had to carry him up the stairs and he is still peeing in a cup (it's too hard to hold him up while he aims for the toilet). we didn't go to church because his legs started to hurt about 20 min. before we were to leave. his teacher said she could tell his legs were hurting a little today. when they start to hurt, he walks on his tip toes and limps. i'm not sure why this makes it easier to walk, but it usually does the job for about an hour before he cannot walk at all, so this is our sign that the pain is coming. thanks to those who offered to watch the girls, while i am not against it, it would not be the same without them here. i am stable most days, last night just got the best of me. i was able to go to bed at 9:30 last night so today was better. i wanted to write to all of you individually (i put notes to all of you below), but am too tired to do so. just know that your comments meant ALOT to me. words cannot express what it meant to me. i realized i had more "true" friends than i thought i did, ALL of your are great (even those i have not actually met). i hope that i am an encouragement to many of you when you need it as well. i know that i try to be. so, that is all for tonight. jordan does not have school tomorrow so he will be "resting" as will i (as much as we can with the twins here). besides, 5 yr. old boys don't rest well! i'm glad that many of you got the fact that i didn't want you to feel sorry for me, but for jordan. yes, it is hard on me, but i cannot even fathom being in that much pain at 5. i know i am probably going to have ALOT more days like yesterday, so don't be surprised if you see another post like it. once again, i am only human!
ellen, thanks so much for thinking of me. i knew you would be one of the first to respond. that is just you! you are a very sweet and kind person! thank you!
amber, you have got to be one of the strongest women i know right now. thanks for sending some of that strength to me. honestly after reading your comment and knowing what your going through and you are making it, made me realize that i too will get through this! you are a great encouragment! thanks for being my friend.
laura, one of my internet friends. i consider you a great friend even though we have never really met. we have so much in common, including the ages and sexes of our children. it really is quit strange. i do wish we lived closer because i think we would be great friends. thanks for the encouragement!
angie, another internet friend. thanks for the hugs, you also are a great inspiration to me and i love reading your blog!
sue, thanks for the prayers and for stopping by the other day and just talking. adult conversation is hard to come by when your a stay at home mom.
joleene, i would love to see that card sometime. i think it's hilarious that you still have it. we did use to be very close. :)
miranda, thanks for being a good friend. i'm so glad we have started hanging out again. thanks for the prayers and supprt. i hope we can become closer like we once were.
erin (E), you hit the nail on the head with the insult to injury comment. i think that was one of the strongest points i wanted to get across. you read my mind even through all the mumbo jumbo! thank you!
cassie, you are one of my newest friends and have really turned out to be a true friend. i know we don't get to hang out much, but hopefully we can get together soon. thanks for offering to take the girls, i know they would be alright, but it wouldn't be the same without them here. it would probably make things more stressful on me. i am just used to having my kids with me. i wouldn't know what to do if they were not here with me. your a great friend.
aunt joan, your comment just made me cry. we have been so close to you and my kids love their aunt joan. we would be more than happy to come have supper with you guys sometime. thanks for letting me know you care. even though we know it, sometimes it is just nice to hear it too.
debra, another one of my fellow twin internet friends. thanks for your prayers as well. thank you for the encouragement. you have a good suggestion and i actually do get a break on saturday nights, i just need to learn to rest instead of clean my house during that time! :)
jenn, thanks for the prayers and commenting. when i redid my blog a while ago, i lost all my links. yours was one i never found until now. you will be back on my blog read list now. thanks again!
so anyway, that is all for tonight. thanks again, you are all great!!! i hope you all have a great week!
I've Got an Itchy Trigger Finger. No, Really!
4 months ago
Posts
8 comments:
My goodness...I just read through the last several posts and I am so sorry that Jordan is suffering and in pain. I hope that his doctors are able to find a way to treat the condition and provide some relief for him. No one can blame you for having moments of weakness and feeling overwhelmed with everything on your plate.
Hope you all get some much needed rest.
Stacey - we are all "only human" and no one would ever judge you for being so. I was talking to your Mom yesterday b/c I had to call the school about my transcript and I told her that it is so hard to "just pray" for someone, even though you know in your heart that it's the VERY best thing that one can do. I do wish that I lived closer so that I might be able to come help you with the girls, or with Jordan. I can't imagine how incredibly heart-breaking it must be to hear your child cry out in so much pain. I'm sure I speak for all of us, that this is what blogs are good for - to be able to vent and let off steam - if you need to, we'll be here for support again. We're all hear for you; praying for your entire family. I pray you're getting some rest today. Love ya, friend.
i am sorry i missed your other post. i have litteraly been living in our spare bathroom/bedroom trying to help grayson be able to breathe and not gag. i cant believe you made it this far without losing it. i would have been that upset at day one when he could not walk if that were my little boy. i guess you are stronger cause of all you have been through with the rest of your kids. boy do i wish we lived at home. my heart breaks for jordan. i wish we could be there to halp or just give jordan a hug and tell him we love him. will be there soon until then hang in there and take the offers of help please it will make me feel better knowing you are getting help from someone since i can not be there. and its okay to cry- it may even help. give all the kids xoxoxs as i know it is hard on everyone
yes- you are only human and anger and the reaction you had yesterday is normal. I'm sure you are so frusrated and I'm sure you'd rather go through the pain than your 5 year old son. It must be hard to fathom why he has to go through all that suffering. I'm glad that you had a better day and I do think it's better to get you anger and frusterations out like that did. Writing about it does help in my opnion. I journal often and it helps me through my pain or wahtever may be going on at hte time. I think it helps to release some of the pressure. God Bless you!!
PS: Give yourself a squeeze- I'm giving you a hug! I hope I can be a little part of the support that you need right now. :) --Love Linda
You and Jordan have been in my thoughts and prayers so much since I found out Jordan was sick. Maybe just knowing that you have help out there, if you truly feel you need it, is comfort in itself. I am glad Jordan is having a little bit better time. My heart breaks for you, having to watch your child in pain, and like you said, a 5 year old child should not have to suffer like that.
We will continue to pray for him. If you EVER need anything, and I mean EVER just call, email, myspace, whatever.
(((( BIG BIG HUGS)))))
Again, see how much you are loved. As Ellen said, one of our greatest things we can do is pray. Then sometimes God puts something on your heart so that you can put "feet" to your prayers. Try to get some extra rest, even if its to put your feet up and take a cat nap. Love Mom
PS Grandpa said he will watch the kids on Tuesday night so you can go the ladies activity to Augusta.
so glad to hear that you had a better day. remember you are only human and it;s so hard when your kids are in pain.. You feel helpless..You are a strong adovate for Jordan..we are praying for you and Jordan..love you..
You sound better now, but still tired. I hope you get some rest and a break. Hang in there Stacey.
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