Dissapointed, but i have pics!!! :)

sorry this is so scatterbrained, i have 1000 thoughts and emotions running through my head. once again i have no pics of latoya either.....ugh.
well, not really too much for an update. i went to a community baby shower today, but it will probably be the last year i go. unless you are expecting or have small children i guess it is not really worth it. i have to say it was nice to just go out with other people my age. i didn't really get much. for the big raffles they had a firetruck rocking ride thing. i was really hoping to get it for jordan for christmas, he would have absolutely loved. one of my friends won it and gave it away. i wish i would have known because i would have bought it from her. there's more to it, but anyway. the twins would have loved it too. they love fire trucks. kelsey puts on the fire truck hat and says "fire guy" :). i try to get her to say fireman, but she keeps saying "fire guy"...lol. i guess i will search for one to buy.
anyway, the girls are talking soo much. yesterday we took them to eat and toya says "thank you mommy" and right after kelsey said it. now she says it whenever i giver he something. it is soooo cute!!!!! we also went to see my grandmother (kids great grandmother) yesterday. the girls cried when we first got there, but each gave grammy a kiss when we left and i got pics. they also love playing on the exercise bike at her house.
we also had a harvest party at church tonight. the kids had fun. i didn't take pictures because i forgot my camera in the van and it was pouring. the girls each carried their own bags and tried all the game and got candy. they were really good about putting it in their bags, but if we stopped too long, they would sit down and check out their loot. :) it made for a long day.
last news is that kaylee has started her medication. i think it will be a long 9 mo. they didn't want to test her again. oh well, even if they did, if it came back negative i don't think i would be satisfied just because she did have a positive test and that would always be in the back of my mind. from here she will have periodic blood tests because the medication can cause liver damage. i don't know what is worse. just keep her in your prayers that she does not get any liver damage. i think that is the worst case scenario. this medication causes lots of side affects though. here is a link to info: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-information/DR202307. the scary thing is that most of the side affects she cannot tell me about because she is only 20 mo. it's so easy to question why her??? i honestly can say that until she started the medication, i really didn't do that, but tonight after giving her her first dose, i have to admit that was the first thing that popped into my mind. why her, why me, why us???? i don't have the answer. i beleive in God, and i know everything happens for a reason, but why???? i put on such a strong front and make like it is not such a big deal, but this is my baby. she is such a fun loving, energetic, beautiful girl and i am just afraid that something will change. wow, i'm sorry, this is such a emotional post for me. i think writing it makes it more real, this is hard. it's gonna be another long christmas i think. we are coming up on the one year marker of doug's father's death and now this with kaylee. it almost makes you not want to celebrate, but it wouldn't be fair to the kids. maybe it will get better as we get closer, but i think it will just get harder. who knows. enough emotion for tonight. i know people do and are going through worse, but it feels just as bad when it's your own family and especially your own innocent child.
it's been one of those days. here are some pics to lighten up the post. enjoy and please keep kaylee in your prayers.